1. Do you feel as if your partner treats you like a child? Does he constantlycorrect you or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate”?Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhereor before making even the smallest of decisions? Do you haveto account for any money you spend, or does he attempt to controlyour spending (even though he has no problem spending on himself)?
2. Does your partner treat you as if you are “less than” or inferior toher? Does your partner make a point of reminding you that youare less educated or that you make less money or that you aren’tas attractive as she is?
3. Does your partner routinely ridicule, dismiss, or disregard youropinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?
P4. Does your partner constantly belittle your accomplishments, youraspirations, or your plans for the future?
5. Do you find yourself “walking on eggshells”? Do you spend a lotof time monitoring your behavior and/or watching for your partner’sbad moods before bringing up a subject?
6. Have you stopped seeing many or all of your friends and/or familysince being in this relationship? Did you do this because your partnerdislikes them, because your partner feels jealous of the time youspent with them, or because you are ashamed of the way he treatsyou in front of them? Did you stop seeing friends and family becauseyou are ashamed of the fact that you’re still with him, even thoughyou’ve complained to them many times about the way he treats you?
7. Does your partner usually insist on getting her own way? Doesshe want to be the one to decide where you will go, what you willdo, and with whom you will do it?
8. Does your partner punish you by pouting, by withdrawing fromyou, by giving you the silent treatment, or by withholding affectionor sex if you don’t do things his way?
9. Does your partner frequently threaten to end the relationship ifyou don’t do things her way?
10. Does your partner constantly accuse you of flirting or of havingaffairs even though it isn’t true?11. Does your partner feel he or she is always right?
12. Does your partner seem impossible to please? Does she constantlycomplain to you about some aspect of your personality, yourlooks, or the way you choose to run your life?
13. Does your partner frequently put you down or make fun of you infront of others?
14. Does your partner blame you for his or her problems? For example,does he claim it is your fault he flies off the handle and starts
15screaming? Does he tell you he wouldn’t do it if you didn’t makehim so mad? Are you to blame for her problem with compulsiveovereating? Because she has a drinking problem? Does he blameyou for not being able to finish college or fulfill his dream ofbecoming an actor (author, musician, singer, etc.)?
15. Does your partner feel you are the one who is responsible for allthe problems in the relationship?
16. Does your partner’s personality seem to go through radicalchanges? Is she pleasant one minute only to be furious the next?Does he become enraged with only the slightest provocation?Does she experience periods of extreme elation followed by periodsof severe depression? Does his personality seem to changewhen he drinks alcohol?
17. Does your partner tease you, make fun of you, or use sarcasm as away to put you down or degrade you? When you complain, doeshe tell you it was just a joke and that you are too sensitive or don’thave a sense of humor?
18. Is your partner unable to laugh at herself ? Is she extremely sensitivewhen it comes to others making fun of her or making anykind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?
19. Does your partner find it difficult or impossible to apologize oradmit when he is wrong? Does she make excuses for her behavioror tend to blame others for her mistakes?
20. Does your partner constantly pressure you for sex or try to persuadeyou to engage in sexual acts that you find disgusting? Hashe ever threatened to find someone else who will have sex withhim or who will engage in the activities he is interested in?
